Aunty Trace

Today is R U OK? Day, a day designed to make it easier for people to ask their friends and family if everything is alright, and for those of us who are well and truly lost in struggle town to admit you’re not ok.

I love this day.  I love everything it stands for and the opportunities it presents.  I love the potential to destroy the taboos surrounding mental health and suicide.  I love the possibility to help break down all those walls.  Whoever thought of this idea and whoever said ok to it being a national day are the true superheroes that this world needs.

Suffering from any sort of mental illness is quite possibly some of the least fun you can have in your life.  I myself am a worrier.  Worrying itself is not a form of mental illness, however from that worry comes anxiety, depression and stress.  I worry about everything, so I stress about everything, and that seems to open the door for anxiety and depression to come waltzing on in.  I doubt myself a lot, which also seems to exacerbate it all.

It’s incredibly hard to explain to people what this can be like, what being stuck in your own head can do to you, how you fear you are a massive disappointment to the world if you speak out and admit that things aren’t ok.  The worst is when someone asks how I am and I get it wrong.  And boy do I sometimes get it wrong! You know how 9 out of 10 times when you ask someone how they are, you don’t really want to know the answer? You just sort of ask out of politeness and most people answer with a “good thanks!” or some other generic response…   well, one thing I am is honest.  Too honest.  The other thing I am is terrible at reading the “signs”. That’s where I get it wrong – I answer with the truth.  It’s almost comical; they smile and ask how I am, I frown and say “well…”, they realise I am about to deliver something other than a good thanks, their pupils start to widen in fear, my pupils start to widen in fear as I realise I forgot to put my filter in that morning and this poor unsuspecting victim is about get a dose of me! I can almost see my mind frantically trying to collect every little word and thought as it slowly descends towards my vocal chords and just not being able to get a grip on anything! It can be quite the desperate situation!

I still don’t understand why there is a tendency among us to avoid and deflect when it comes to discussing mental health problems. Without a doubt, it is a very icky topic and if you choose to discuss it, it’s very uncomfortable from whichever side of the wall you are on.  However, having someone ask you how you are and actually wanting to hear the real answer makes the world seem a little brighter.  Knowing that someone cares enough to give some of their precious time to listen could literally give someone another option in their real-life struggle with an ultimatum of life or death, to be or not to be.  Sometimes, just not feeling completely alone can spark a small pinpoint of light in an endlessly dark tunnel.

So today, on R U OK day, I implore you all to really consider the following – are you ready to ask the people you love in your life how they are? Are you willing to really listen and hear what they have to say, no matter what? Are you able to deal with what could come your way and give them the time they need to lessen the weight on their shoulders?  Can you wear a cape and be the superhero that someone might just really need? (You don’t have to wear your undies on the outside, although it could change your life for the better!) If yes then please, ask away.  Those that aren’t ok may be like me and have a magnificent talent at making it seem like all is peachy when it most certainly isn’t, and your words can have a huge impact.

If you’re not ok, then I ask that you not be afraid to speak up.  It’s ok to not be ok and it’s ok to say you’re not ok.  That’s a lot of ok’s!

If you’re not sure how to approach any of it, I say start with tea.  A warm cuppa to round up the nerves and keep them at bay, loosen up the jaw muscles and get you both jabbering.  And chocolate.  Chocolate solves nearly everything! I also suggest a crochet hook and some wool….but I know that’s not for everyone!

Last of all, for those that have stuck through to the end of this very non-craft blog…

Are you ok?

Keep crafting,

Aunty Trace xoxox

Hi All! Welcome to my blog!

This whole project is possibly one of the most exciting and most terrifying things I have ever decided to do. I don’t often open up about my battle with depression and anxiety; despite the amazing awareness and understanding that I have seen spreading throughout the world, there is still a big part of me that shies away from admitting what I go through for fear of being judged wrongly.  For the past 15 years – at least – I have worked tirelessly in trying to find a way to quiet the buzz in my head.

Craft for me is my safe place.  Getting lost amongst wool and embroidery cottons and hooks and material and books and patterns….aaaalllllll the patterns…. is how I unwind after a long day, lower my blood pressure, find a little inner peace and heal.  If someone said to me “describe your happy place” it would be in a ball pit, except that instead of those little plastic balls it would be full of balls of yarn and just like Uncle Scrooge swimming in his room of gold coins, I would dive on in and then make a wool angel once I resurfaced! It’s second nature to me to pick up some sort of craft work in my spare time – it’s almost akin to breathing, I always have at least a million different projects on the go at any one time and my hands don’t like to be idle!

It wasn’t until I was introduced to the idea of mindfulness a few years ago that I realised that I was in that state of “being in the moment” when I was creating.  I was calm, peaceful, relaxed and focused. It was effortless and I didn’t need to be mindful of being mindful, if you understand what I mean!  I now turn to my craft work not only because I love it so much, but also because it has now become what I refer to as my sanity.  I think anyone is capable of also finding that inner peace through craft work no matter what level they are at – even if they have never before given it a go.

I know that sometimes even just the idea of craft can be overwhelming – I hear a lot of comments such as “you must have so much patience!” and “oh I could never do that!”   In all honesty I believe anyone can.  My hope is that by passing on my knowledge through blogs and eventually video tutorials that I can help people get a start.  Once you do start, believe me – you won’t be able to stop!

So…welcome to Aunty Trace!  I really hope that this page will be a place where it’s safe and like a big warm Aunty hug, where you can share and learn and receive encouragement and support.  Somewhere you can bring your anxiety and blues and quiet the buzz in your head with some giggles, a few new craft tricks to help with mindfulness and a big injection of enthusiasm and purpose.  And contact…because when your head is so busy trying to destroy you, you just feel so utterly alone. I’ve come so far through the help of creativity and I want you all to see it’s possible for you too, that there is light at the end of that tunnel, even when it feels like you’ll never see sunlight again. And it can be done in such a simple way, without effort.  Sometimes it takes so much energy to just to be, just to get through a day, that in order to unwind it needs to take as little effort as possible. Give craft a go – what have you got to lose?

I can’t wait to see where this takes us!

Keep crafting,

Aunty Trace xoxox