Today is R U OK? Day, a day designed to make it easier for people to ask their friends and family if everything is alright, and for those of us who are well and truly lost in struggle town to admit you’re not ok.
I love this day. I love everything it stands for and the opportunities it presents. I love the potential to destroy the taboos surrounding mental health and suicide. I love the possibility to help break down all those walls. Whoever thought of this idea and whoever said ok to it being a national day are the true superheroes that this world needs.
Suffering from any sort of mental illness is quite possibly some of the least fun you can have in your life. I myself am a worrier. Worrying itself is not a form of mental illness, however from that worry comes anxiety, depression and stress. I worry about everything, so I stress about everything, and that seems to open the door for anxiety and depression to come waltzing on in. I doubt myself a lot, which also seems to exacerbate it all.
It’s incredibly hard to explain to people what this can be like, what being stuck in your own head can do to you, how you fear you are a massive disappointment to the world if you speak out and admit that things aren’t ok. The worst is when someone asks how I am and I get it wrong. And boy do I sometimes get it wrong! You know how 9 out of 10 times when you ask someone how they are, you don’t really want to know the answer? You just sort of ask out of politeness and most people answer with a “good thanks!” or some other generic response… well, one thing I am is honest. Too honest. The other thing I am is terrible at reading the “signs”. That’s where I get it wrong – I answer with the truth. It’s almost comical; they smile and ask how I am, I frown and say “well…”, they realise I am about to deliver something other than a good thanks, their pupils start to widen in fear, my pupils start to widen in fear as I realise I forgot to put my filter in that morning and this poor unsuspecting victim is about get a dose of me! I can almost see my mind frantically trying to collect every little word and thought as it slowly descends towards my vocal chords and just not being able to get a grip on anything! It can be quite the desperate situation!
I still don’t understand why there is a tendency among us to avoid and deflect when it comes to discussing mental health problems. Without a doubt, it is a very icky topic and if you choose to discuss it, it’s very uncomfortable from whichever side of the wall you are on. However, having someone ask you how you are and actually wanting to hear the real answer makes the world seem a little brighter. Knowing that someone cares enough to give some of their precious time to listen could literally give someone another option in their real-life struggle with an ultimatum of life or death, to be or not to be. Sometimes, just not feeling completely alone can spark a small pinpoint of light in an endlessly dark tunnel.
So today, on R U OK day, I implore you all to really consider the following – are you ready to ask the people you love in your life how they are? Are you willing to really listen and hear what they have to say, no matter what? Are you able to deal with what could come your way and give them the time they need to lessen the weight on their shoulders? Can you wear a cape and be the superhero that someone might just really need? (You don’t have to wear your undies on the outside, although it could change your life for the better!) If yes then please, ask away. Those that aren’t ok may be like me and have a magnificent talent at making it seem like all is peachy when it most certainly isn’t, and your words can have a huge impact.
If you’re not ok, then I ask that you not be afraid to speak up. It’s ok to not be ok and it’s ok to say you’re not ok. That’s a lot of ok’s!
If you’re not sure how to approach any of it, I say start with tea. A warm cuppa to round up the nerves and keep them at bay, loosen up the jaw muscles and get you both jabbering. And chocolate. Chocolate solves nearly everything! I also suggest a crochet hook and some wool….but I know that’s not for everyone!
Last of all, for those that have stuck through to the end of this very non-craft blog…
Are you ok?
Keep crafting,
Aunty Trace xoxox
Love this trace. It really is such an important subject and so many people are scared to reach out. I think it’s great that you have a place where people can come together and you helping to make its a bit easier for people xx keep up the awsome work
Your entry for “are you ok? day” is great! I feel so much like you and always wonder why people ask how I am if they really actually don’t care or can’t handle the true answer. I try to appear happy all the time because somehow this is what is expected of me, but it seems that the only “real” conversations about how I really feel, I have in my head with myself :/